I left Alberta about five months ago now. Although I miss it a lot, I also kind of don’t. I miss my community, my family and my chosen family; some of whom will be there for life. What I don’t miss is complicated. There’s so much to unpack there I could write about it for the rest of my life. I’m not going to do that, but I will dip my toe into that proverbial pool of dirty, gunky mirk that was once water.

Politics! A big reason why I left but no one gives a care as to what I have to say on the political landscape of ol’ ‘Berta. So I won’t say.

Trucks! So many F-150s I expect they should slap one on the provincial flag!

Confederate flags, for some reason… WTF Alberta. Not chill at all.

Anyway, now that politics and trucks are out of the way, it’s time to get personal. I was ridiculously lucky in the company I got to keep in Alberta. My friends and family lift me up and encourage me at every opportunity. But location doesn’t change the fact that we can still cheer each other on! Regardless of the good vibes, for a while I had been getting a bit restless in locale. I felt like I had hit a ceiling in many ways. My bad habits were becoming worse. The same people I love so much for cheering me on also enabled some of those bad habits. Bad habits are always so much fun until they aren’t, you know? I needed a fresh start, but not too fresh.

I chose Victoria for my new home our of sheer practicality. I’ve been here before, no winter, I know a handful of people out here already, no winter, biking all year round is easy, no winter and I’ve always wanted to live near water that isn’t the brown North Saskatchewan. Did I mention no winter? Seriously though, riding my bicycle is when I’m happiest and this city feels like it was built for me in that regard. Edmonton was a chore to bike through and honestly, pretty scary sometimes. I know I might not be in this city forever and I very well might end up back in ol’ ‘Berta, but right now in this moment; a break is what I need is all.

“Give me your tired
Give me your tired
Give me your poor
When our government acts like this
I don’t wanna live here anymore
Sure, I could be a pussy and move to Portland or New York
Or I could stay and change the place where I was born”

AJJ – Lady Liberty

This line from AJJ’s Lady Liberty always comes to mind when I think about leaving a place to get away from something there, especially politically. I always thought of myself as the person to “stay and change the place where I was born”, but I just couldn’t anymore. Over the pan-Demi-Moore, I finally figured out how to fully love, appreciate and care for myself. Important stuff! Through that, I landed on a solution. I’d move somewhere more like me instead of staying in a place where every day felt like my city was trying to pick a fight with me.

I love Edmonton with all my heart. Not actual Edmonton, but the place I pretended it was. The place it presented itself as to me. My community of artists, musicians and post-graduates who couldn’t find work in their field, we worked in cafes and bars to scrape by. They took care of me and I tried my best to take care of them. We love each other unconditionally, and we always will. But for now Alberta, I think we need to take a break.